she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
