Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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