Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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