you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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