Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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