wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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