She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
