In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
