ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize