the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
