Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
