Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize