You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
