there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize