apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
