I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
