we have pet lesbian snakes
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
