I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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