Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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