Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
