please come you make the beer taste better
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
