Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
