Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
