I showed him my bush... on skype.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
