ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
