No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
