i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
