my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
