question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My ass is underappreciated
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
