she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
