So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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