I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Never underestimate the power of titties
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