You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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