you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
