Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
