sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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