bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
