But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
