Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
