This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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