i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
