this just has baby written all over it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
