He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
