Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
