You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
