Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize