I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
