New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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