I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize