She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
