HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
