I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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