Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
