That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
