ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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