I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
