Soap is not a condiment
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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