just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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